I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
