Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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