i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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