Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
