Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I think my fart just growled at me.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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