you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
