So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
