I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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