they need to just BURY HIM!
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
