She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize