you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
