Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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