Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
