2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
