There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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