I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him