Im at strip club and am horny
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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