sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
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After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
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According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...