i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
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