I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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