I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
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She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
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I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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