what day is it and did you see me today?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
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its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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