fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
