umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
