Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
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For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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