Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
