Say something about gay babies.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize