Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
