Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
