My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?