is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
