I think my vagina is haunted
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.