Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just wanna be euthanized