i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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