I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
