it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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