kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
