please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
