why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
