My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize