it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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