He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
