Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
i think i just lost a toe
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