just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
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