Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
