remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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