Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(619): View more from California

I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot

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(515): View more from Iowa

I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(202): View more from Washington, DC

i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.

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(309): View more from Illinois

You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.

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(443): View more from Maryland

No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..

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(816): View more from Missouri

Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.

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(254): View more from Texas

So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???

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