Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.

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(352): View more from Florida

My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.

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(971): View more from Oregon

I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(864): View more from South Carolina

I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek

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(407): View more from Florida

Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.

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(323): View more from California

He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"

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(503): View more from Oregon

Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.

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(928): View more from Arizona

Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic

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