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I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
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