Texts From Last Night

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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Why are you ignoring all of my texts?

  (1-765): View more from Indiana

  The power was out.

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  (765): Why are you ignoring all of my texts? (1-765): The power was out. http://tfl.nu/9x7x
  Replies (17) Good night (1313) Bad night (4208)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"

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  (972): Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88" http://tfl.nu/q0w3
  Replies (58) Good night (4860) Bad night (711)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach

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  (586): When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach http://tfl.nu/tgf3
  Replies (24) Good night (3750) Bad night (2282)
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  (818): View more from California

  Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"

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  (818): Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is" http://tfl.nu/fthj
  Replies (43) Good night (7481) Bad night (1975)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.

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  (724): I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay? (724): I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision. http://tfl.nu/lftu
  Replies (32) Good night (1438) Bad night (3657)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.

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  (972): So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office. http://tfl.nu/rm9r
  Replies (45) Good night (1545) Bad night (5869)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  no, didnt close...

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...

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  (508): no, didnt close... (978): What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic... http://tfl.nu/lkpf
  Replies (13) Good night (1068) Bad night (6150)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat

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  (214): I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat http://tfl.nu/a753
  Replies (18) Good night (5431) Bad night (2808)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.

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  (920): She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off. http://tfl.nu/r6m3
  Replies (12) Good night (4416) Bad night (1704)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?

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  (563): I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one? http://tfl.nu/bi5f
  Replies (11) Good night (1378) Bad night (879)
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  (415): View more from California

  I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.

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  (415): I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history. http://tfl.nu/x6ei
  Replies (13) Good night (801) Bad night (1651)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?

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  (972): I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right? http://tfl.nu/cvur
  Replies (3) Good night (452) Bad night (799)
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  (925): View more from California

  Drunk texting is the poetry of my life

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  (925): Drunk texting is the poetry of my life http://tfl.nu/a1uw
  Replies (1) Good night (540) Bad night (319)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.

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  (404): Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't. http://tfl.nu/cauu
  Replies (3) Good night (757) Bad night (299)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY

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  (717): WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY http://tfl.nu/nywf
  Replies (2) Good night (613) Bad night (315)

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