Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"

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  (818): Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny" http://tfl.nu/i2md
  Replies (14) Good night (2968) Bad night (801)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break

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  (317): idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break http://tfl.nu/7szo
  Replies (16) Good night (6198) Bad night (643)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?

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  (360): Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me? http://tfl.nu/3uhh
  Replies (16) Good night (1319) Bad night (3749)
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  (858): View more from California

  So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?

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  (858): So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism? http://tfl.nu/tlrk
  Replies (13) Good night (5698) Bad night (1087)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.

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  (614): just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am. http://tfl.nu/mpww
  Replies (10) Good night (2638) Bad night (1786)
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  (779): View more from Illinois

  explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?

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  (779): explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer? http://tfl.nu/17j8
  Replies (5) Good night (1097) Bad night (1530)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.

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  (479): If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough. http://tfl.nu/qsaq
  Replies (12) Good night (3258) Bad night (841)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka

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  (281): you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka http://tfl.nu/l68b
  Replies (4) Good night (1557) Bad night (1163)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.

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  (520): Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this. http://tfl.nu/0jj8
  Replies (8) Good night (965) Bad night (1797)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole

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  (631): Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole http://tfl.nu/78ec
  Replies (7) Good night (2963) Bad night (988)
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  (626): View more from California

  I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.

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  (626): I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger. http://tfl.nu/jsvx
  Replies (2) Good night (481) Bad night (565)
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  (408): View more from California

  Dude, that was like bongs ago.

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  (408): Dude, that was like bongs ago. http://tfl.nu/4e28
  Replies (1) Good night (828) Bad night (391)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.

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  (306): I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/ywq9
  Replies (5) Good night (540) Bad night (270)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking

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  (845): I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking http://tfl.nu/ljuu
  Replies (0) Good night (331) Bad night (250)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I am one with the molecules

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  (602): I am one with the molecules http://tfl.nu/9vlj
  Replies (1) Good night (406) Bad night (127)

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