one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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