Texts From Last Night

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  (636): View more from Missouri

  Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.

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  (636): Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly. http://tfl.nu/3gr1
  Replies (23) Good night (5120) Bad night (591)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone

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  (703): Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone http://tfl.nu/o3t4
  Replies (8) Good night (4348) Bad night (719)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...

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  (920): once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore... http://tfl.nu/uw33
  Replies (29) Good night (4646) Bad night (1041)
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  (916): View more from California

  You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..

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  (916): You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you.. http://tfl.nu/8fyi
  Replies (24) Good night (930) Bad night (9229)
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  (408): View more from California

  I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate

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  (408): I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate http://tfl.nu/wgyo
  Replies (15) Good night (1932) Bad night (3381)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.

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  (860): he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit. http://tfl.nu/apjr
  Replies (37) Good night (1242) Bad night (6075)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?

  (1-330): View more from Ohio

  she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.

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  (330): why is there cat hair all over my deoderant? (1-330): she wanted to smell more freshershest than you. http://tfl.nu/rk6z
  Replies (33) Good night (5818) Bad night (1625)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.

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  (817): 2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester. http://tfl.nu/1qgy
  Replies (5) Good night (2696) Bad night (903)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend

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  (678): i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend http://tfl.nu/xiia
  Replies (7) Good night (3674) Bad night (1102)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?

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  (313): The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week? http://tfl.nu/bve2
  Replies (10) Good night (3279) Bad night (1027)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.

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  (631): I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus. http://tfl.nu/dneq
  Replies (8) Good night (1090) Bad night (3018)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.

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  (202): I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning. http://tfl.nu/sdft
  Replies (3) Good night (1093) Bad night (528)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source

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  (503): i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source http://tfl.nu/1syu
  Replies (0) Good night (499) Bad night (265)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children

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  (804): Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children http://tfl.nu/bp23
  Replies (1) Good night (648) Bad night (297)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.

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  (207): My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off. http://tfl.nu/aji8
  Replies (1) Good night (516) Bad night (183)

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