I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
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I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
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I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
