we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
