Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
