There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
