OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
