I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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