I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
