onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize