so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
