Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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