I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
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Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up