....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
