There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
