to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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