Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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