READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Randomize
