Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
